Confederate Canuck Presents:

Today, we salute you, Mr. Founder of the Canadian Medicare System.

You were the first to throw out basic principles of economics in pursuit of socialist medicine. Even simple common sense said your model wouldn't work, but you didn't let that slow you down in the slightest.

Faced with a small percentage of people who were without medical care, you devised a revolutionary system to combat the problem. By placing the responsibility of health care squarely on the government's shoulders, you created a system by which everyone -- regardless of income, age, race, or status -- would equally receive the same poor health care.

They told you that a single-payer health system would inherently tend to foster outdated medical technology. You courageously laughed in their faces. Old is better than nothing, you reasoned.

And when people complained that the wait times to see specialists were ridiculously long, you knew just where to point the finger of blame. Those greedy doctors that were moving to the States by the busload in search of better compensation for their services, as principles of the free market dictate. They should've stayed and stuck it out for the sake of the Canadian people. Besides, you said, when you're getting your health care as a government-bestowed gift, you can afford to wait. What's an hour or twelve in the ER waiting room, when the service is freely available to anyone?

That's why without you, Mr. Founder of the Canadian Medicare System, the Land of the Maple Leaf just wouldn't be the same.

So crack open an ice cold Canada Dry, O Wizard of the Waiting List. Because you know -- Paying an arm and a leg to the government for mediocre health care beats paying an arm and a leg to a private company for excellent health care, any day of the week.