Confederate Canuck Presents:

Today, we salute you, Mr. Lumberjack Shirt-Wearing Everyman.

Towel. Blanket. Tissue. Impenetrable shield of protection. It's not just a simple workshirt; it's your weapon against anything the world might throw your way.

Your manly sense of style sets you apart from the rest of us. Dirty red plaid flannel shirt, Kodiak boots, and a touque complete your all-weather ensemble. Rain, snow, 30°C sunshine -- environment means nothing to you. You wear this shirt at all times, day and night. If ever a rogue blizzard were to strike without warning in the middle of June, we know we can count on you to be ready.

To you, the term "fashion faux pas" is meaningless. You've transcended fashion, creating the perfect outfit that allows you to instantaneously blend into any place or situation: shopping, fine dining, church, even... working. Your B.C. Dinner Jacket does it all.

But that's not all. Not only does it match every pair of pants in your closet, it also advertises your masculinity at the same time. It lends you the unmistakeably masculine air of one who stands ready, able at a moments notice to work your working-class skills and save the day. Wherever there is a plugged toilet, we know who to call. Whenever a leaky carburetor needs fixing, you are there. We can always rely on you to know how to plow a field, build a shed, or shoot a moose and then skin it with your bare hands.

Your lumberjack shirt isn't just your average shirt, Everyman. It's a shining red beacon of hope, and a symbol of mechanical knowhow, common sense, and raw masculinity. That's why without you, Mr. Lumberjack Shirt-Wearing Everyman, the Land of the Maple Leaf just wouldn't be the same.

So crack open an ice cold Beaver Buzz, O Purveyor of the Plaid, because you know -- You're not a real man, unless you're dressed like one.