"In the News", 13th - 20th

Here are all of the news links that I posted in the sidebar, from June 13th to June 20th, 2009.

Saturday, June 13th

• Canada.com - Diary entry for Monday, June 15th: Got up, brushed teeth, overthrew the government, ate dinner, went to bed. xoxo, Michael Ignatieff.
• Winnipeg Free Press - Health Canada realizes that since it didn't have enough nurses to go around to begin with, then there will probably be even fewer now that swine flu has reached Manitoba. Tommy Douglas nods approvingly.
• Canada.com - The Royal Canadian Mint still hasn't found the missing $20 million in gold and silver bars. But not to worry: "when you have a government entity that you're dealing with and they have a hundred years of track record under their belt, your worry level is certainly misplaced." 'Cause, you know, the government never makes mistakes or lies about stuff.

Sunday, June 14th

• The Chronicle Herald - Five months ago, Canada narrowly avoided an attempt to force a second national election in 12 months. If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.
• CBC - Here's the coolest live video feed of an eagle's nest you'll see all day.
• CBC - Calgarians celebrate pesticide-free parks. The pests are pretty psyched about them, too.

Monday, June 15th

• CBC - Scottish Association sues distillery in the Supreme Court of Canada for using the word 'glen'. Distillery located in a glen, in the town of Glenville, in the province of New Scotland. Scotch tape to be next.
• CBC - The snowbirds have been grounded indefinitely because of a problem with their ejection seats. If you're picturing an old man in khaki shorts, dress shoes, and socks up to his knees barreling down the freeway in an RV the size of a small McDonald's, then you're thinking of the wrong snowbirds. I meant the other snowbirds.
• CBC - How could you ever begin to repay natives for stealing their ancestral land, killing their people, pillaging their possessions, and forcing them to become second-class citizens for almost a hundred years? With a thousand bucks, apparently.

Tuesday, June 16th

• BBC - In this story from across the pond, lightning strikes kills 16 cows standing in a puddle. Well done.
• (Some Guy) - Woman angry that she is charged a $45 booking fee every time she is arrested. If only there were some solution to this problem.
• The Telegraph - What a bunch of geeks.
• Winnipeg Free Press - An inquest has begun on the death of Brian Sinclair, an amputee who died in a Winnipeg ER waiting room after waiting there for 34 hours. Tommy Douglas shrugs shoulders, says "Well, at least it was free".

Wednesday, June 17th

• Canada.com - Canadian High Schoolers flunking history for the first time since the country was founded in 1973.
• Canoe.ca - So you went skiing out of bounds and got lost for 9 days in the wilderness? No problem. Just sue your rescuers for not finding you fast enough.
• Woodtv.com - Blind and deaf man to lead Amazon expedition. As far as he knows.
• Mainichi Daily News - It's raining frogs in Japan. Literally.

Thursday, June 18th

• CBC - Mysterious black ooze at abandoned Cold War station frightens Labrador town. No, this isn't an episode of the X-Files.
• CBC - Mother fights off cougar with her bare hands to save toddler. Now that's a cougar woman.
• CBC - Quebec's Public Security Minister blames rioting in Montreal on a 'handful of agitators' who were out to disrupt life in the area. Apparently, he doesn't realize that everyone in Quebec is out to disrupt life in Canada.

Friday, June 19th

• CBC - Alberta's finance minister apologizes to whiny feminists who don't think they should have to stay at home with the precious snowflakes.
• CBC - A bunch of geeks in Toronto managed to stop watching Star Trek reruns long enough to build Canada's most powerful supercomputer.
• CBC - One of the most clever and sly ways of hiding a grow-op with 450 marijuana plants from the police might be to not attract attention to it by keeping a flock of macaw parrots in the same cave. Bonus: As testament to Canada's harsh justice system, all of the men involved were released without charges.
• CBC - Just when you think your day couldn't get any worse, you have a heart attack and the ambulance carrying you to the hospital blows up.

Saturday, June 20th

• Winnipeg Free Press - Lions and Tigers and Bears, Oh My! Winnipeg Zoo gets an update. But without the Lions and Tigers.
• CBC - A United Church minister says the apology has left her feeling empty and eroded inside, much like the chemotherapy drugs she was given by mistake.
• Winnipeg Free Press - It was bad enough when you had to share your seat with the obese guy beside you. Now you have to share it with Poochikins and her slobbering owner, too. Don't you, Poochikins? Yes you do! Yes you do!
• Daily Mail - Neither rain nor snow, nor sleet nor dark of night shall stay these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds. But apparently they draw the line at "vicious kittens".