The Little Black Facebook

To the surprise of absolutely no one, Facebook announced that they will soon be sharing your phone number and address with third parties. No word yet on where the parties are, or if you're invited.

Of course, one of the sliest ways of preventing this from happening is to not give Facebook your phone number or address in the first place.

Thank you, carry on.

The Northern Scum

I hear the distant thunder-hum, Maryland!
The Old Line bugle, fife, and drum, Maryland!
She is not dead, nor deaf, nor dumb-
Huzza! She spurns the Northern scum!
She breathes! She burns! She'll come! She'll come!
Maryland! My Maryland!

It would seem that Maryland has decided to secede from the South and join the "Northern scum", as lawmakers recently petitioned to move from the Southern Region of the Council of State Governments to the Eastern Region.

Am I the only one surprised to learn that Maryland was ever considered a "Southern" state to begin with?

An Inconvenient Truth

Of course, everything you read on the internet must be true, right? That said, according to Michelle Malkin (and seemingly corroborated by BBC), hackers targeted the email system of a leading climate research unit and posted the data on the internet.

The bulk of the correspondence from the University of East Anglia’s Climate Research Unit appears to include conspiracy, collusion in exaggerating warming data, possibly illegal destruction of embarrassing information, organized resistance to disclosure, manipulation of data, private admissions of flaws in their public claims and much more.

The bottom line seems to be that Hadley CRU has been faking, covering up, and augmenting data to support their theories of a global warming trend for quite a few years now. Interesting that Al Gore didn't anticipate and correct for this development, seeing as how he invented the internet.

Read more about the alleged cover-up at Hot Air, Shout First, Herald Sun, or James Delingpole.

Waaaah, Eh?

German researchers studied the cries of 60 healthy babies born to families speaking French and German. They determined that the babies began to pick up the nuances of their parents' accents while still in the womb.

The French newborns cried with a rising "accent", while the German babies' cries had a falling inflection, which matches the general inflection of the two languages. The findings suggest that unborn babies are influenced by the sound of the first language that penetrates the womb.

In the News, 28th - 4th

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Sunday, June 28

• Canoe.ca - There's a moose loose aboot in Haysboro.
• CBC - Let me be brief: The homeless need your underwear.
• Canoe.ca - Statistics Canada says Canadians just keep on getting fatter, blames Tommy Douglas for the rise in obesity.

Monday, June 29

• CBC - According to a new survey, 6 in 10 Canadians are planning a summer vacation. In other news, 6 in 10 Canadians are inexplicably unaware that there is no summer in Canada.
• CBC - Whiny woman files complaint with the Human Rights Commission, is awarded $3,000 on for "injury to her dignity and self respect". I don't think this one needs a punchline.
• CBC - Manitoba First Nation mired in leadership dispute. Hail to the chiefs.

Tuesday, June 30

• CBC - Tim Horton's to become a Canadian company. Because apparently it's not.
• Canada.com - Awww, did Awbewta woose some of its money-woney?
• CBC - Remember that missing $15.3 million dollars in gold and silver bars that the Canadian Mint lost? The $15.3 million dollars in gold and silver bars that Jon Nadler said not to worry about? Yeah, about that...

Wednesday, July 1

• Canada.com - Canadian senate: We need to act immediately to repair Canada's credit-card market, and to make the systems more fair. Translation: Socialism has worked so well for us in the medical system, let's start controlling the economy, too. What could possibly go wrong?
• Canada.com - More and more people in Regina are homeless now. Not that there are any less homes, there just seem to be more people not living in them.

Thursday, July 2

• CBC - They are anti-sealing activists. Does this mean they have a moral objection to caulking?
• CBC - B.C. school cancels the singing of the national anthem in order to be more "inclusive", and then it gets weird. Can't think of a punchline right now, but it will probably have something to do with watery-eyed Canadians letting immigrants walk all over them.
• Floriduh - Just in case you needed one, here's a good reason not to keep an 8-½ foot Burmese python in the living room.

Friday, July 3

• CBC - If you're looking for high-quality weaponry and ammunition, look no further than "Friendly" Manitoba. Act now and get free shipping on orders of $1.2 million or more.
• CBC - Videos of Canadian politicians name-calling, swearing, bickering, and generally acting like small children surface on YouTube, to the surprise of absolutely no one. Also, Colin Kenny would like you to know that Stephen Harper is not the boss of him.
• CBC - Because nothing kills your business model faster than running out of Coke.
• National Post - Owner of Chinese buffet chain offers free meals to Canadians on Canada Day to show his gratitude to the country, is immediately accused of violating human rights of non-Canadians. Dim sum silly liberals.

Saturday, July 4

• Canada.com - Hearing examines whether police officer's thyroid problem means he shouldn't be fired for misplacing evidence and not doing his job.
• National Post - "Jowi Taylor set out in 1995 to create an object more quintessentially Canadian than hockey, Tim Hortons donuts, insulin, the CN Tower or Lake Louise. Eleven years later, he was able to hold it in his hands".
• Canada.com - In Canada you can't be held criminally responsible for your actions if you're under 12, which is great news if you're a 9-year-old who wants to burn down an abandoned McDonald's._
  

In the News, 21st - 27th

Here are all of the news articles that I posted in the sidebar, from Sunday, June 21st to Saturday, June 27th.

Sunday, June 21st

• TDN - Man arrested after driving three miles on interstate in reverse. He'll be evaluated for possible mental problems, being Canadian.
• Winnipeg Free Press - Shilo has a gun.
• CBC - Canadian Parliament votes to spend more money, then takes a break for the summer. Ignatieff will doubtless spend the next couple months plotting to overthrow the government again.

Monday, June 22nd

• CBC - "Because throwing wild parties and then holding your guests hostage with a washing machine in a three-hour standoff with police is no way to go through life, son."
• Canoe.ca - A woman is going to court claiming she was wrongly evicted from her apartment because she kept her Easter decorations on her door for two weeks after the holiday. Actually it was because she quit paying her rent, but you get the idea.
• CBC - When sun rays crown thy pine clad hills, And summer spreads her hand, When hikers take nasty spills, We love thee, smiling land.
  

Tuesday, June 23rd

• CBC - The Leafs aren't the only thing that stinks in Toronto as garbage collection is halted due to a strike by city workers.
• CBC - Scientists say a project examining owl vomit is yielding tremendous information about Prairie wildlife. In other news, people are apparently paid to examine owl vomit.
• CBC - Three B.C. forest firefighters accused of using drugs. Smokey the Bear unavailable for comment.

Wednesday, June 24th

• CBC - Tourist from Montreal swept out to sea at Peggys Cove, suddenly decides she doesn't really want to be a snotty French separatist after all.
• CBC - The same Canadian experts who first said we should lose weight, then that we shouldn't lose weight, before deciding that, actually, we should lose weight, changed their minds and said we shouldn't lose weight, then said they were just kidding and really we should, are now saying that we shouldn't. Surely these guys know what they're talking about.
• CBC - Please help me I'm faaalling.

Thursday, June 25th

• Canoe.ca - This file is classified top-secret. Only high-level military personnel, African cyber criminals, and Vancouver students are allowed to view it. Oh, snap.
• Winnipeg Free Press - I helped Manitoba set a population growth record. So did 14,006 other people.
• CBC - Computer wrongly issues parking tickets to 800 Winnipeggers, laughs diabolically.

Friday, June 26th

• CBC - A baby at the centre of a transplant controversy has been given a new organ and is recovering well, say doctors at Toronto's Hospital for Sick Children. Cut it out, guys, you're making all the doctors at Toronto's Hospital for Well Children look bad.
• CBC - 84-year-old man from northern Vancouver Island survives being trapped down a well shaft for four days. Well, well, well.
• CBC - I am the very model of a modern Major-General, I've information vegetable, animal and mineral, I know the kings of England and I quote the fights historical, I am the very model of a modern post-traumatic stress disorder.

Saturday, June 27th

• CBC - If you're upset about homelessness and the lack of affordable housing in Calgary, should you, A) Volunteer at a charity organization, B) Write a moving letter to your provincial representative, or C) attack the Premier with a banana cream pie?
• (Some Bored Scientists) - After three years of study, University of Calgary researchers determine that coyotes eat small mammals, plants and berries. Still no cure for spending government money on useless research.
• CBC - Canada Day canceled in Toronto because all of the municipal workers there are too busy "sticking it to the man" to celebrate the fact there there is even a man to stick it to in the first place. Go take a shower, hippie.

"In the News", 13th - 20th

Here are all of the news links that I posted in the sidebar, from June 13th to June 20th, 2009.

Saturday, June 13th

• Canada.com - Diary entry for Monday, June 15th: Got up, brushed teeth, overthrew the government, ate dinner, went to bed. xoxo, Michael Ignatieff.
• Winnipeg Free Press - Health Canada realizes that since it didn't have enough nurses to go around to begin with, then there will probably be even fewer now that swine flu has reached Manitoba. Tommy Douglas nods approvingly.
• Canada.com - The Royal Canadian Mint still hasn't found the missing $20 million in gold and silver bars. But not to worry: "when you have a government entity that you're dealing with and they have a hundred years of track record under their belt, your worry level is certainly misplaced." 'Cause, you know, the government never makes mistakes or lies about stuff.

Sunday, June 14th

• The Chronicle Herald - Five months ago, Canada narrowly avoided an attempt to force a second national election in 12 months. If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.
• CBC - Here's the coolest live video feed of an eagle's nest you'll see all day.
• CBC - Calgarians celebrate pesticide-free parks. The pests are pretty psyched about them, too.

Monday, June 15th

• CBC - Scottish Association sues distillery in the Supreme Court of Canada for using the word 'glen'. Distillery located in a glen, in the town of Glenville, in the province of New Scotland. Scotch tape to be next.
• CBC - The snowbirds have been grounded indefinitely because of a problem with their ejection seats. If you're picturing an old man in khaki shorts, dress shoes, and socks up to his knees barreling down the freeway in an RV the size of a small McDonald's, then you're thinking of the wrong snowbirds. I meant the other snowbirds.
• CBC - How could you ever begin to repay natives for stealing their ancestral land, killing their people, pillaging their possessions, and forcing them to become second-class citizens for almost a hundred years? With a thousand bucks, apparently.

Tuesday, June 16th

• BBC - In this story from across the pond, lightning strikes kills 16 cows standing in a puddle. Well done.
• (Some Guy) - Woman angry that she is charged a $45 booking fee every time she is arrested. If only there were some solution to this problem.
• The Telegraph - What a bunch of geeks.
• Winnipeg Free Press - An inquest has begun on the death of Brian Sinclair, an amputee who died in a Winnipeg ER waiting room after waiting there for 34 hours. Tommy Douglas shrugs shoulders, says "Well, at least it was free".

Wednesday, June 17th

• Canada.com - Canadian High Schoolers flunking history for the first time since the country was founded in 1973.
• Canoe.ca - So you went skiing out of bounds and got lost for 9 days in the wilderness? No problem. Just sue your rescuers for not finding you fast enough.
• Woodtv.com - Blind and deaf man to lead Amazon expedition. As far as he knows.
• Mainichi Daily News - It's raining frogs in Japan. Literally.

Thursday, June 18th

• CBC - Mysterious black ooze at abandoned Cold War station frightens Labrador town. No, this isn't an episode of the X-Files.
• CBC - Mother fights off cougar with her bare hands to save toddler. Now that's a cougar woman.
• CBC - Quebec's Public Security Minister blames rioting in Montreal on a 'handful of agitators' who were out to disrupt life in the area. Apparently, he doesn't realize that everyone in Quebec is out to disrupt life in Canada.

Friday, June 19th

• CBC - Alberta's finance minister apologizes to whiny feminists who don't think they should have to stay at home with the precious snowflakes.
• CBC - A bunch of geeks in Toronto managed to stop watching Star Trek reruns long enough to build Canada's most powerful supercomputer.
• CBC - One of the most clever and sly ways of hiding a grow-op with 450 marijuana plants from the police might be to not attract attention to it by keeping a flock of macaw parrots in the same cave. Bonus: As testament to Canada's harsh justice system, all of the men involved were released without charges.
• CBC - Just when you think your day couldn't get any worse, you have a heart attack and the ambulance carrying you to the hospital blows up.

Saturday, June 20th

• Winnipeg Free Press - Lions and Tigers and Bears, Oh My! Winnipeg Zoo gets an update. But without the Lions and Tigers.
• CBC - A United Church minister says the apology has left her feeling empty and eroded inside, much like the chemotherapy drugs she was given by mistake.
• Winnipeg Free Press - It was bad enough when you had to share your seat with the obese guy beside you. Now you have to share it with Poochikins and her slobbering owner, too. Don't you, Poochikins? Yes you do! Yes you do!
• Daily Mail - Neither rain nor snow, nor sleet nor dark of night shall stay these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds. But apparently they draw the line at "vicious kittens".