Captain Squirrely, Arch-Nemesis

I have a nemesis. His name is Captain Squirrely. He is my rival and life-long enemy. Or so it seems.

A few days ago, I was at the farm, sitting in a lawn chair by the steps. I was listening to my Ipod and minding my own business. All of a sudden, I noticed a squirrel on the trunk of the willow tree not ten feet away from where I sat. He was watching me intently, daring me to make a move. I sat perfectly still, watching out of the corner of my eye as he inched slowly down the tree, skittered across the grass, and bounded up the steps onto the stoop.

My interest now peaked, I got up and went around to see what he was after. I never got to find out, because he let out a startled trill and leaped down into the flower bed the moment he caught sight of me, taking off around the corner of the house.

Of course, I gave chase, following him around the corner and heading him off before he could dart across the lawn to the trees by the garden. With an angry chatter, he turned and fled back to the bush by the steps. There has never before been a more ticked off squirrel, in the entire history of squirrels. He hid in the bush and spat ferociously at me through the foliage, daring me to take one step closer so he could rip me to shreds.

But, through all of the bluster, I could also hear some chirps that sounded a little bit afraid. So I left him alone, and retreated to my lawn chair. After a few minutes of silence, I saw him poke his head carefully out of the bush to look for me, before making a mad dash for the safety of the crate myrtle by the driveway.

The Captain Squirrely of days past has ceased to exist. He is a happy forrest friend no more; now, he is my sworn archenemy.

Today I was working on taking apart one of the metal graineries. From across the yard, I heard the familiar sound of angry chirping and spitting. It seems he saw me coming while I was still a long way off, and he had taken up a defensive position in a solitary tree. He wasn't just scared to come down, he was madder than a hornet that I would even dare to invade his personal territory. He disappeared after I started working, but I'm sure he only retreated to his lair to plot revenge against my transgressions.

I am certain that we have not heard the last of Captain Squirrely. He seeks my destruction, and for complete and total domination of his territory. Today, the farm hangs in the balance. Tomorrow... the world. And I alone stand between him and the fruition of his twisted dreams.

I have a nemesis. His name is Captain Squirrely.