The Anthem

You may have noticed a bit of a tiff in the news recently about the storm of controversy surrounding the proposed changes to the Canadian anthem. Or not. The tempest came about when the Conservatives (or specifically, Senator Nancy Ruth) decided that the lyrics of O Canada needed to be politically-corrected.

The lyrics to the first verse are, of course:

O Canada! Our home and native land! True patriot love in all thy sons command.

These well-meaning liberals (or, conservatives in Canuck-speak) reasoned that instead of singing, "True patriot love in all thy sons command", Canadians should be singing something more gender-neutral. (Interestingly, their solution was to revert the lyrics back to the original 1908 version, which reads, "Thou doust us all command.")

In the ensuing firestorm of bitter debate, a nation of concerned Canadian citizens set down their Tim Horton's coffees and divided themselves into two opposing factions -- those who had absolutely no idea that Canada even has an anthem, and those who don't know the words to it well enough to care.

Yes, my friends, the conservatives apparently forgot one crucial fact: most Canadians don't actually know the words to O Canada.

While the idea of not being able to stand up and sing the song that unites your country of birth seems foreign to the fiercely patriotic Americans (and to basically everyone else on the planet, for that matter), ask the average Canadian to sing O Canada and you'll end up with something that sounds like this:

O Canada! A hmm da ha ha hand! Blue patriot la hmm la da hmm tha man!

Don't believe me? Check YouTube for shots of the proud Canucks singing their anthem at this year's Olympics. You'll see that while some of them know a few words here and there, most are grinning their way apologetically through it and quietly mumbling the words to Happy Birthday.

When met with these observations, the Socialist I'm related to argued her point. "Of course we know it," she objected. "We just don't make a big deal of singing it like you Americans do. That doesn't make us any less patriotic." What she's suggesting, then, is that it isn't ignorance that causes Canucks to blush and grin sheepishly as they stumble through their national song -- it's embarrassment. They're embarrassed that they even have an anthem, and are busily looking over their shoulders to make they aren't offending anyone within earshot with their blatant and inexcusable patriotism. True patriot sons, indeed.

In either case, the Stephen Harper government announced on Friday that there will be no changes to the anthem. So for the time being, at least, the public singing of O Canada! will continue to be met with offended women and blushing Canucks everywhere.

Hat Tip: Mom, for the idear. Thanks Mom!