The Shoe Chronicles

And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Daniel, that new shoes must be bought.

(And this decree was first made when Stephen Harper was Prime Minister of Canada.)

And Daniel spake unto Julie, saying, Let us find me some shoes, even runners, that I may wear them with jeans.

According to all that I tell the, after the pattern that I shew thee, even so shall ye find them.

And the soles shall be made of a composite rubber blend: eleven inches and a half shall be the length thereof, and four inches the breadth thereof.

And the midsoles shall be made of a synthetic fiber mesh, so that the breathability thereof shall be great;

And the color thereof shall be black, within and without, with red or blue or gray highlights.

And the number of the shoes shall be 12.

According to all that I have commanded thee, shalt thou find. I am Daniel, your husband.

And so it was that Daniel went up from Stanley Avenue, out of the city of Selkirk, into Winnipeg, unto Polo Park, even unto the land of Sport Check;

(For the shoes there were in great abundance.)

To buy shoes with Julie, his espoused wife, being somewhat with child.

And Julie also traveled from Hazco, unto Polo Park, even unto the land of Sport Check.

And it came to pass that Julie lifted up her eyes, and beheld a pair of North Face shoes while she was yet a little distance;

And the soles were made of a composite rubber blend: eleven inches and a half were the length thereof, and four inches the breadth thereof;

And the midsoles were made of a synthetic fiber mesh, so that the breathability thereof indeed was great. And the color thereof was black, within and without, with red highlights.

And behold, they were 50% off.

And Julie lifted up her voice, and called to Daniel, saying, Behold, I have found the shoes which thou seekest, according to the commandments of thy mouth, and the words of thy lips:

For they are suitable for thy feet, and for the lifting up of thine toes.

And verily I say unto thee, they are 50% off.

Therefore Daniel lifted up his eyes, and beheld the shoes which Julie had found.

And it came to pass that Daniel fitted the shoes to his feet, and girded them about his ankles; and they were good.

Then Daniel rejoiced, saying, Glory to God in the Highest, for He hath provided shoes for the lifting up of mine feet, and for the bearing up of mine legs.

For behold, I shall wear the shoes which the Lord hath provided, when I sittest in mine house, and when I walkest by the way, and when I liest down, and when I risest up, and when I weareth jeans.

And Julie did rejoice there with him, and prepared them a feast of thanksgiving:

And they feasted on Taco Time, and Orange Julius hotdogs.

And they rejoiced with exceeding great gladness, together with Shiloh, the first-born son.

Then Daniel broke the hotdogs, and blessed them, and offered them to Julie.

But Julie answered him, saying, Behold, if ye thinkest that I would eat of the flesh of pigs, verily, another think is close at hand.

Therefore she did not eat of the hotdogs, but ate burritos and tatertots with exceeding great gladness.

Then Julie spake unto her husband Daniel, saying, I must return unto my own country, even unto Hazco, into the land of my cubicle, for my time there is not yet accomplished.

And Daniel wept.

Therefore Julie departed unto the land of Hazco, into her cubicle, even unto her desk, that the labors of her hands should be completed.

And Daniel also departed, out of Winnipeg, unto the city of Selkirk, unto his own house, and Shiloh with him.

And Daniel did shew the shoes unto his household; and his whole household rejoiced there with him: for they were very good.

"Picture-Thought"

I saw this cartoon in Tuesday's paper and thought it was funny.


(Click to enlarge.)

I guess evolutionists are preconceptual scientists, eh?

Yesterday

We spent a good portion of yesterday at Grandma's farm. I took along the flipvideo camera, and used it to take a few pictures of her place.

We just pulled this camper out of the barn, exposing it to the light of day for the first time in probably twenty years. I'm in the process of cleaning it up.



This is the barn. I'm in the process of cleaning it up, too.



These are empty grain silos that seem determined to stay, despite our best efforts to make them feel generally unwelcome.



This truck belongs to Donald. He parked it behind a building years ago (actually, "hid it" would be more accurate) and left it to rot. I tore down the building last year. Undaunted, the truck stoically remains.

I thought the rusty, dilapidated look might make for an interesting picture ('cause I'm a photographer now, don't you see), so I got closer for another shot.

I got even closer, hoping to get a picture of a tree that is just starting to grow up out of the hood. Then I heard a sound from inside.

(Click play to start the video)

It seems that the raccoon family left the barn in favor of the quiet comfort of the pickup. Mom wasn't around, and the four baby raccoons seemed glad for the company. I took these videos and left them alone; I'm happier for them to live here than in the barn.
I think the barn is happier, too.

After a brief thunderstorm, the day ended with an unusually bright rainbow. I went looking for the pot o' gold, but the rainbow disappeared before I could find it. It's just as well; with as many Polish people around here as there are, the pot o' gold is probably
actually a pot o' borscht.

Random Canadian Facts

_
Here are all of the Random Canadian Facts that I've posted in the sidebar through Friday, June 19th, 2009 -- and perhaps a few that I didn't. I've put it here because the list is quite lengthy.

• Kanata is the St. Lawrence-Iroquoian word for "village" or "settlement."
• “O Canada,” originally named “Chant national,” was written by Adolphe-Basile Routhier (French lyrics) and Calixa Lavallée (music) and first performed in Quebec City in 1880. The song was approved by the Parliament of Canada in 1967 as the unofficial national anthem and adopted officially on July 1, 1980.
• The border between Canada and the United States is officially known as the International Boundary. At 5,525 miles, including 1,538 miles between Canada and Alaska, it is the world's longest border between two nations.
• The Canadian motto, A Mari Usque ad Mare, means "From sea to sea."
• Although Nova Scotia was granted the British Empire's first flag by King Charles I in 1625, Canada did not have a national flag until February 15, 1965, when its maple leaf flag was adopted by its parliament. Before that, the red ensign, a British maritime flag, was in general use.
• At 3,855,103 square miles, Canada is the second largest country in the world, behind Russia.
• Its population density is 8.6 people per square mile, making Canada the ninth-most sparsely populated nation in the world.
• The average life expectancy at birth for a Canadian is 81.16 years, the eighth highest in the world. The United States ranks 46th, at 78.14 years.
• The east coast of Canada was settled by Vikings around the year A.D. 1000. Archaeological evidence of a settlement has been found at L'anse aux Meadows, Newfoundland.k
• Snorri, the first North American child to be born of European parents (Thorfin and Gudrid), was born in Vinland around A.D. 1000.
• Newfoundland was the first part of Canada to be explored by Europeans. Ironically, it was the last area to become a province, in 1949.
• In 1642, a group of religious mystics from France were inspired by a vision to build a missionary city in the Canadian wilderness. Led by Paul de Chomedey de Maisonneuve and an Ursuline nun name Jeanne Mance, they founded Montreal.
• According to the 2001 census, 42.6% of Canadians are Roman Catholic, 23.3% are Protestant, and 16% claim to have no religion.
• Alert, in Nunavut territory, is the northernmost permanent settlement in the world.m
• # Canada became a country on July 1, 1867, when the British North America Act was passed by the British Parliament.
• The Mounted Police were formed in 1873, with nine officers.g In 1920, the Mounted Police merged with the Dominion Police to become the famous Royal Canadian Mounted Police, an organization that now has more than 28,000 members.
• Ice hockey is Canada's official national game. The modern game of ice hockey was developed in Canada, based on games that have been played since the tenth century. The rules were first published in the Montreal Gazette in 1877.
• Basketball has become popular around the world since being invented by a Canadian
• Canadian James Naismith invented basketball to give his physical education students at the YMCA Training School in Springfield, Massachusetts, an indoor team sport to play during the long winters.
• The capital city, Ottawa, was originally named Bytown after Colonel John By, who headquartered there while building the Rideau Canal to connect the Ottawa River with Lake Ontario.
• Canada has the longest coastline of any country in the world at 151,600 miles.
• The regent of England, currently Queen Elizabeth II, is the Canadian head of state.
• North America's earliest undisputed evidence of human activity, 20,000-year-old stone tools and animal bones have been found in caves on the Bluefish River in northern Yukon.
• North America's lowest recorded temperature was -81.4 degrees Fahrenheit (-63 C) at Snag, Yukon Territory, on February 3, 1947.
• Canada is known as the home of large animals like the moose and grizzly bear, but it is also home to about 55,000 species of insects and about 11,000 species of mites and spiders.
• Canada contains 9% of the world's renewable water supply.
• The official languages of Canada are English and French. Throughout Canada's history up to the current time, there have been conflicts between English and French-speaking Canadians.
• Tensions between French Canada and English Canada reached a head in October 1970, when the Front de Liberation du Quebec (FLQ)—a terrorist organization that had bombed cities, robbed banks, and committed a number of other crimes—kidnapped the U.K. Trade Commissioner, Richard Cross. The army put an end to the revolt and arrested several hundred suspects.
• In 1527, John Rut of St. John's, Newfoundland, sent a letter to King Henry VIII—the first letter sent from North America.
• Charles Fenerty, a poet from Halifax, Nova Scotia, was the first person to use wood fibers to make paper. He started experimenting in 1839 and produced paper from wood pulp in 1841.
• Thomas Ahearn of Ottawa invented the electric cooking range in 1882
• Canadians have made many important inventions, including Kerosene, the electron microscope, the electronic organ, insulin, the IMAX film system, the snowmobile, and the electric cooking range.
• Canada is a major producer and consumer of cheese. In 1997, Canadians produced 350,000 tons of at least 32 varieties of cheese and ate an average of 23.4 pounds per person, with cheddar being the most popular.
• Many famous authors have come from Canada, including Lucy Maud Montgomery (Anne of Green Gables), Margaret Atwood (The Handmaid's Tale), and Alice Munro (Lives of Girls and Women).
• A black bear cub from Canada named Winnipeg (or “Winnie,” for short) was one of the most popular attractions at the London Zoo after it was donated to the zoo in 1915. Winnie became a favorite of Christopher Robin Milne and inspired the stories written by his father, A.A. Milne, about Winnie-the-Pooh.
• Cryptozoologists claim that Canada is the home of several cryptids, including Sasquatch, a cannibalistic wildman named Windigo, and a number of lake monsters, such as Ogopogo in Lake Okanagan, British Columbia.
• The world's strongest current is found in the Nakwakto Rapids at Slingsby Channel, British Columbia. The current has been measured at speeds up to 18.4 miles per hour.
• The West Edmonton Mall in Edmonton, Alberta, was once the world's largest shopping mall. It now ranks fifth, but it still contains the world's largest indoor amusement park.
• Alberta has 50% of the world's supply of bitumen.
• The CN Tower in Toronto was the world's tallest free-standing structure until it was eclipsed in 2007.
• Manitou Lake on Manitoulin Island in Lake Huron is the world's largest lake within a lake (41.1 square miles).